The year of change

It's not even near December yet this year has been the year of change for all of us. Brenda graduated in the spring and started her new job. We got married. I've got a new job and by the end of the year J will now have a new last name.

Yep, I'm leaving my current employer and moving to what will hopefully be greener pastures with a company downtown and closer to us. I'll be a Linux systems administrator for the new company and am rather excited to be getting back in to systems administration. It's always been the direction I have wanted to take my career in. So basically I'll get to be a big geek everyday and work on some really tough but cool problems. Much better than fixing someone's printer all the time.

While Brenda has posted about it several times I can't tell you how excited I am about the adoption. We had our hearing today that lasted all of 20 minutes and 10 of that was the judge telling us what was going to happen. The judge asked a few questions of  us that seemed to be confirming what the investigator had written and then gave us unexpected news.  The adoption would be final in 3 months not the 6 that we thought it would be. Since this was an interlocutory hearing FF can't do anything now to stop the process unless fraud was involved, which we know isn't the case. So it looks like J's name will be changing at the beginning of the year. He's been very excited about it and was great during the hearing. The court gave J a challenge coin that the judge had specifically made for adoption cases for the children. He didn't really understand what it was for, just that it was cool and it was for him. We'll explain it to him when he gets older and we talk more about what happened.

Adoption Update

We had the "investigation" last week with the county probate social worker. She prepped up beforehand that this was a very painless part of the process and that all she was going to do is ask us some questions. Having never done this before, we both expected it be a grilling q&a about our lives in addition to observation in our habitat and a tour of our clean, safe environment. None of this actually happened. She came in, sat down on the couch and asked general questions about our lives such as "how did you meet?", "what do you do and do you like it?", "how long have you lived together?" etc etc. We also were given some insight to hearing proceedings. I am most concerned about what the judge might ask Jordan in relation to FF. At this particular time J pretty much has no idea who FF is and Ryan is the only dad he knows exists. The social worker gave us some examples of what might be asked however, I am still nervous about what questions with arise from Jordan after the hearing. After that, she packed up and left, didn't even go past the couch. The "investigation" went 110% better than we expected. We looked like the perfect American family (instead of the crazy jacked up one we really are HAHA). Ryan and I sat close on the couch together, laughing and talking comfortably with her while Jordan quietly played legos on the floor in front of us. On cue, J would chime in with a cute response in our conversation. Investigation= nailed.

Our court date was supposed to be the 12th of September but unfortunately had to be changed due to a missing part of the process. Ryan has to have a background check (state and federal) returned to the court before the hearing takes place. This apparently is a new part of the adoption process that the judge recently instated and our lawyer was unaware of the addition. Since it takes 1-2 weeks for the background check to come back, the date was moved back two weeks. We both are really upset about having to change the date. I am ready to be 99.9% rid of FF once and for all. We are ready to get this show on the road. . In my irrationality, I always fear that FF will change his mind right before the hearing. I know in my mind that its highly unlikely of that occurring, but you never know.

In conclusion, I have a rant about what people say when they hear about the adoption. I am getting a lot of "this is the best thing he (FF) is doing for him (J)" and "he (FF) is doing the right thing" etc. Let's be clear about something. FF is NOT doing this for Jordan's best interest. Yes, it's in Jordan's best interest, and we're very thankful that FF is peacing out. However, these comments make me feel like FF is a good guy for doing this. He is still gave up on "his" child. He cared more about his financial gain than to fight for a relationship with "his" son. Maybe that's the bitter part of me coming out. I just don't like FF; anything that remotely sounds like he's a good person makes me want to hurl. Rant over. :)

2 weeks until the hearing!!! Can't wait!!!! :)