The year of change

It's not even near December yet this year has been the year of change for all of us. Brenda graduated in the spring and started her new job. We got married. I've got a new job and by the end of the year J will now have a new last name.

Yep, I'm leaving my current employer and moving to what will hopefully be greener pastures with a company downtown and closer to us. I'll be a Linux systems administrator for the new company and am rather excited to be getting back in to systems administration. It's always been the direction I have wanted to take my career in. So basically I'll get to be a big geek everyday and work on some really tough but cool problems. Much better than fixing someone's printer all the time.

While Brenda has posted about it several times I can't tell you how excited I am about the adoption. We had our hearing today that lasted all of 20 minutes and 10 of that was the judge telling us what was going to happen. The judge asked a few questions of  us that seemed to be confirming what the investigator had written and then gave us unexpected news.  The adoption would be final in 3 months not the 6 that we thought it would be. Since this was an interlocutory hearing FF can't do anything now to stop the process unless fraud was involved, which we know isn't the case. So it looks like J's name will be changing at the beginning of the year. He's been very excited about it and was great during the hearing. The court gave J a challenge coin that the judge had specifically made for adoption cases for the children. He didn't really understand what it was for, just that it was cool and it was for him. We'll explain it to him when he gets older and we talk more about what happened.

Adoption Update

We had the "investigation" last week with the county probate social worker. She prepped up beforehand that this was a very painless part of the process and that all she was going to do is ask us some questions. Having never done this before, we both expected it be a grilling q&a about our lives in addition to observation in our habitat and a tour of our clean, safe environment. None of this actually happened. She came in, sat down on the couch and asked general questions about our lives such as "how did you meet?", "what do you do and do you like it?", "how long have you lived together?" etc etc. We also were given some insight to hearing proceedings. I am most concerned about what the judge might ask Jordan in relation to FF. At this particular time J pretty much has no idea who FF is and Ryan is the only dad he knows exists. The social worker gave us some examples of what might be asked however, I am still nervous about what questions with arise from Jordan after the hearing. After that, she packed up and left, didn't even go past the couch. The "investigation" went 110% better than we expected. We looked like the perfect American family (instead of the crazy jacked up one we really are HAHA). Ryan and I sat close on the couch together, laughing and talking comfortably with her while Jordan quietly played legos on the floor in front of us. On cue, J would chime in with a cute response in our conversation. Investigation= nailed.

Our court date was supposed to be the 12th of September but unfortunately had to be changed due to a missing part of the process. Ryan has to have a background check (state and federal) returned to the court before the hearing takes place. This apparently is a new part of the adoption process that the judge recently instated and our lawyer was unaware of the addition. Since it takes 1-2 weeks for the background check to come back, the date was moved back two weeks. We both are really upset about having to change the date. I am ready to be 99.9% rid of FF once and for all. We are ready to get this show on the road. . In my irrationality, I always fear that FF will change his mind right before the hearing. I know in my mind that its highly unlikely of that occurring, but you never know.

In conclusion, I have a rant about what people say when they hear about the adoption. I am getting a lot of "this is the best thing he (FF) is doing for him (J)" and "he (FF) is doing the right thing" etc. Let's be clear about something. FF is NOT doing this for Jordan's best interest. Yes, it's in Jordan's best interest, and we're very thankful that FF is peacing out. However, these comments make me feel like FF is a good guy for doing this. He is still gave up on "his" child. He cared more about his financial gain than to fight for a relationship with "his" son. Maybe that's the bitter part of me coming out. I just don't like FF; anything that remotely sounds like he's a good person makes me want to hurl. Rant over. :)

2 weeks until the hearing!!! Can't wait!!!! :)

We have a Kindergartener!

Its hard to believe that our son is off to "the big leagues" of kindergarten-- class of 2026!

We've been talking to Jordan all summer about this very day, the first day of kindergarten. So it wasn't a surprise when he woke up at 6am, ready to go to school. (which didn't start for 2 and half hours) He didn't understand why he couldn't go now, usually when he's up for daycare, he can go whenever he's ready.

We got him ready to go. I took several pictures with the cute sign I made. (I'm pretty proud of it-- this momma is NOT a crafter) Jordan loved the sign.

We walked him to classroom. Other kids started piling in, most of them looked scared out of their minds. Not our son; he was practically bouncing out of the seats ready to start this mysterious kindergarten. His teacher, Mrs. Coleman, is awesome; has been teaching kindergarten for a long time. When we did the screening last week, she beamed about Jordan's learning assessment score: 27 out of 29, commenting about how smart he was. Well, we all already knew that ;)

Many parents were crying and some were hard to "let go of their babies". Not us--- we're like "bye, see ya-- have fun!" Guess we're not the overly emotional attached to our kids type. We're excited for our son to learn and grow. We just hope he doesn't assault anyone... :P

Readjusting to Adult Life

Hi Ho Hi Ho its back to work I go!

Ryan and I are adjusting from the 6 week break I took from the after graduation/before big girl working job. During the 6 week break, I've been home all day, cooking dinner, and no obligations except to make sure my son is still breathing. Now, its back to 12 hour shifts; this time mostly in the 11am to 11pm time frame.

As a new grad, I have a 20 week mentored experience (internship) in the labor and delivery at the downtown hospital. So far, I LOVE IT (big surprise haha). I am getting a lot of good experiences, meeting a lot of interesting families, and getting to see a baby take its first breath--- priceless. My preceptor is also awesome with more than a decade of L&D experience and its easy to ask her questions. I have LOTS to learn but I am looking forward to every minute of it!

And so far, I've only birthed boys. No girls yet :) I got this beauty from a patient's family...

 

 

 Its been difficult getting back into the swing of two working parents routine again. Jordan seems unphased by it, which is good. Its the game of who's picking J up, what about dinner?, can we do xyz on this day? We're working through our struggles and slowly getting into a routine. Oh and the paycheck is nice :)

In other news, we have received our court date for the adoption for mid-September. If the hearing goes in our favor (which there shouldn't be any hang-ups), the adoption will be final mid-March. (its not final right away, there is a 6 month waiting period between the hearing and finalization). Did I mention we can't wait!!?!?!?!?!?!!? :)

Slowly but surely, everything is falling in to place. My graduation, our wedding, the adoption, the nursing job of my dreams. Our lives aren't perfect, but we're making the most of every moment.

3 weeks of rambled catch-up

I've had 3 weeks off before starting big girl nursing job on Tuesday. First off, I can't wait to start working. I have to hand it to moms or dads who stay at home with their kids, because I'd go crazy (and Jordan's still going to daycare due to technicalities. Sad.) I am so excited to get the opportunity at my dream job, right out of school. I GET TO DELIVER BABIES!!! :) I am really looking forward to learning and growing in my profession and can't wait to see what my career has in store for me.

What have I been doing for 3 weeks? Drinking wine, obviously. I've made a slight dent in my 66 bottles of wine. But we already assumed I'd be doing that so....

I've been spending time with Jordan: playing games with him after school, playing outside, watching movies, reading books and such. I can't believe he's going to be five on Monday. Where does the time go? He's so stinking smart too; its sad that he outsmarts us. Looks like we better get used to that. We are really trying to work on his social and emotional intelligence and get him prepped for kindergarten in August. I think going to Kindergarten will be a good change for him; challenging him intellectually as well as a difference in routine other than the daycare bit (even though we love them,  we think J's rather bored)

Other than being Mom to Jordan, I've really been rather hermit-y. Reading, beating levels of Candy Crush, cooking, renewing my ass dent on the couch, and running around getting errands done. This is the first time in 4 years I feel I've got to really chill and I've tried to enjoy it as much as I can. (interpretation: lazy as possible)

Adoption news: The lawyer has a rough draft started in the adoption filing process. The three of us (Ryan, myself and Jordan, but mostly Jordan) have decided to change his middle name in addition to his last name. The final decision was left to Jordan, even though he's five, we thought his input was important. (his current middle name is from his biologic contributor) We should have the final draft to sign in the next couple of weeks--- then off to the courthouse to file and get a hearing!!

We've also had to involve CSEA in regards to child support, since FF has decided to be a douche bag about it. (big surprise). Legally, he still has to pay up until the adoption is final (6 months from the hearing); of course he threw a fit. I've tried to work with him and compromise, he doesn't want to work with me-- so I will win in the end. It's not about money for us, it's about the principle of the matter. It's going to be a long process since its inter-state but he's in for a rude awakening. I warned him ;)  

That's about it for now.

Oh and... I love being his wife ;)  << still not used to that!

Becoming a family part 3: Wedding Style

WE'RE MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

By far, the best decision ever. We had so much fun and it was perfect.

Ryan and I stayed at a bed and breakfast/vineyard/winery last year in Indiana and fell in love with the place, the quaint small town, and the people. We decided to elope there and have to ceremony at the vineyard, just the two of us (and whoever from the winery/vineyard/BB wanted to show up).

The days before the wedding, we stayed at the B&B, going to all 6 of the local wineries for tasting and eating delicious food from the local joints. I was very excited to have purchased 5 and a half cases of wine to bring home as well as 2 bottles of hard cider for Ryan. Last time, I only brought 17 bottles of wine home and lets just say it didn't last very long. HAHA We'll see how 66 bottles of wine lasts me (so far 1 and 3/4 bottles down).

The day of the wedding, we relaxed at the B&B, watching TV, and just being chill. Two o'clock rolls around, I go get my hair and makeup done. The salon downtown was awesome, very friendly, and excited to be doing "elopement style" wedding (which wasn't much different than traditional weddings, but ok). After that, the ball was rolling- I quickly went back to the B&B, met the "minister" and photographer, and slipped into my gown. Ryan waited downstairs with the minister and I was upstairs taking pictures with the photographer (who made the whole experience even more perfect.)

The ceremony was at 4:30 at the vineyard's stage between the two areas of the property. I walked down the long lane of the property (in heels!) to meet my handsome groom in the middle and we walked up the stage together. The ceremony was pretty perfect, especially our vows we wrote to each other. The only downfall of the ceremony was the "minister" was VERY unprepared with little details not addressed as well as saying our last name wrong (even though we coached him several times prior to; I really don't think its that difficult). However, it wasn't enough to ruin it because no one else was there that really cares. The B&B/vineyard/winery owners watched the ceremony as well as the photographer, and "minister's" wife. After it was over, my husband (!!) and I signed the marriage license, went back to the B&B and opened a bottle of champagne and toasted with all who was there.

The rest of the evening was spent with the photographer doing pictures at the ceremony location as well as beautiful areas downtown. The locals were very gracious, including the teenagers roaming downtown, with many congratulations and well wishes. Our evening ended with a local hamburger joint (similar to White Castle, tastes less-gross, however, later learned similar after effects) with grease in a bag and a milkshake called "wedding cake".

The next morning, we packed up the car to head home. On our drive, we thought to call the lawyer to see if any documents have been sent from FF. Low and behold-- the lawyer has the papers! FF has signed the legal document to give up his parental rights to Jordan. I don't care why his reasons are, though we have speculations, I am excited to end the battles of the ex and legally give Jordan the father he deserves. Best. Wedding. Present. Ever. :)

I am so happy to be married to Ryan. Life has pretty much resumed to normal and I am enjoying my 3 weeks off until my big girl nursing job starts in mid-July. And I'm enjoying the wine too :)

The NCLEX experience: the B-Rob edition

Everyone's experience is different, but this is my recollection and thoughts are based on how I felt.

Nothing prepares you for taking the NCLEX. I know nursing school is supposed to do that... but still...

My school "spouse", Stache, and I scheduled to take our Ohio boards in Lexington, KY because at the time we registered, the soonest available within a 100ish mile radius was there. We got there the night before, staying a hotel, and prepared to get up at the butt crack of dawn for the biggest and most important test of our career. And by prepare I mean, give up studying, eat chinese food, and take a couple hits of whiskey.

I could not sleep at all, kicking myself for not drinking more and/or bringing some sort of sleep aid. Finally at 4am, I gave up and attempted to beat Candy Crush level 125 in order to pass the time.

In the morning, we were revved up. Nerves, nerves, nerves. We got there, waited for them to call us up individually, trying to stay as positive as possible. Then, into the room we go. It feels like a jail cell with cameras monitoring your every move and using a palm vein hand scan to get in and out of the testing room.

Headphones and earplugs on. All I could hear is my heartbeat through my ears as the tutorial played. Then the first question comes up.. lub dub lub dub goes my heart. So loud that I worry other people can hear it. I finally take the earplugs out because its too loud to think. With each question, I take a deep breath and carry on, hoping for the right answer. Several questions threw me off, and I did the click and pray method.

For those who don't know how NCLEX works, the minimum number of questions is 75 and the max is 265. The number of questions past 75 varies on the tester's ability and will shut off accordingly. At 75, you either beasted it or failed; any question after that falls into the gray area of "not enough to fail, not enough to pass"; until you've reached one of those destinations, the test keeps coming. At 75 questions, I did not feel confident in my answers so far, and hoped to the high heavens to see question 76 because it would mean I still have a shot. 76 came up and a wave of relief came over me (never in my life was I glad to see more test questions!) After 76, I'd get a question, confidently answer; get another, and be completely lost. At 86 (I think), I got a math question-- answered it, and BANG! It's shuts off. I literally threw up my hands like "holy sweet for jesus-- what happened!" If I could get a copy of what the camera saw me do right when it shut off, it would be on YouTube.

I quickly did my 9 questions or so survey at the end, ran out to the car and thought of many ways to hide my drinking straight the Jack Daniels bottle. Stache was still examing it, and all I wanted to do was find a bar. I called/texted whoever I could to freak out while I waited. And waited. And waited. Finally Stache came out, and we found the nearest restaurant that served alcohol.

My only saving grace was I was 100% sure I got the last question right. My pharmacy math is pretty on par (thanks to 8 years in various pharmacy settings). After 48 hours, you can pay the testing company $7.95 online and get your unoffical results; unless your license number becomes available before then. I paid the $7.95-- it said pass; but until I saw the license number I wasn't 100% cleared.

No words can describe the relief that is felt when you see that license number. All the work over the past 4 years is seen right before your eyes in the form of a six digit number. I can actually say--- I'M A NURSE! And to all the people who thought I couldn't do it, look me up on the Ohio Board of Nursing for proof. :)

Some thoughts for many who have still yet to face their board exam:
1) Most of the specific content I studied was not on the exam, however, every question counts! Even if you absorb one bit of info that you don't think is going to be on there, its better to feel as prepared as anyone can be for the biggest test of your life.
2) I did do "the trick"; and no, I was not able to re-register for the exam with the automated excuse of "its been awfully early since you've taken that exam, eh?"... or something of the like. I didn't take much merit into it, because if someone fails, you can't retake it for another 45-90 days.
3) TAKE YOUR TIME. I've never been that slow on taking an exam, but I literally breathed deeply before every new question.
4) For those of you who understand what this means: Juxedpose and negate (or however Klimek spells it) DID help a bajillion. Take the first two answers, pick which is best based of knowledge, logic, and common sense; then keep comparing each answer to the winner til you find the most logical/best rationale.
5) YOU CAN DO IT! :) If you have any questions or freakoutery--- I don't mind to hear from you. :)

With the NCLEX passed, my nursing student career is now officially over! I can't believe it, but I am so excited to see where my career will take me.  :)